The following is a carrot-on-a-stick plan for success:
- If I do all my work on time/early and SUBMIT it, in addition to making it to all of my classes, going to all the study hall sessions, going to work-study when I am scheduled to instead of skipping out (or call when I can't make it), and maintaining acceptable hygiene, I get paid money. Approximately $10 USD a week, in cash. Which is good because there's a Linkin Park concert in Cincinatti that I can't pass up!
- If I screw up like I did last time, by skipping class to roleplay on Second Life and thereby causing my grades to slip, then one of the GMs at the cyberpunk location that I roleplay at has no reservations about using the banhammer on me from both the location AND the Ning site that is associated with it! And I don't think I want that..... No, seriously, I really don't want to be banned from where I can chill and hang and be creative. Plus, bannage is worse than a missed concert. Much worse.
- I have a whole team of friends with a variety of backgrounds (real life Girl Scouts and associations with my real life sister, Second Life roleplaying, etc.) who are willing to whip my ass to make sure I stay on task before I get to do any fun stuffs. Sure, it'll get annoying as all fuck after a while, but now I understand their reasoning: they want me to succeed and enjoy all the good things, all the rewards of doing well. They really care about me, in fact. So I pretty much owe it to them by doing well and be all like, "I know, you care! You really care! So I'm doing this for you! Just because you care!" But I think I will need random reminders every once in a while about this particular scenario.
- I have resources available to me. Why don't I use them? Why don't I use the Writing Center or the tutoring program here at the college? I shouldn't be afraid to ask for help. This isn't high school at all. High school is back home in Pennsylvania. This is West Virginia. Significant others can kick people's asses if it's to defend their girlfriends here! And I don't have a history with anybody--I can reinvent myself all over, and not care who gives a shit!
So, really, I have to get this semester going well for me. I mean, it's my totally-never-ever-gonna-get-another-one last shot at good grades. And good grades are important because it has to do with funding; I must maintain an agreed-upon cumulative average (at the very least) to keep the funding. Because Marshall is fucking EXPENSIVE. I don't have very many scholarships and the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation is helping fund my education because it's a form of training, in fact. And because there's a certain program that they're paying for because my family can't. We're not poor but we're not rich either.
So in order for me to do well, I have to knock it off with all the failing I've been doing last semester, put my head down and charge forward. Sure, I'll run into walls but the walls are MY fault. Why shouldn't I do this? That's what I'll be asking myself from now on, if I get stuck in fighting the need to do something that I know I have to do.
So, aside from dreaming about things, plotting other things, being vague and going back for one more round with college, life seems to be good.
I'll wrap this up with a video from YouTube. Nuff said.